haunted by bhante sujiva and insight stages, i notice myself tracking progress instead of sensationsbhante sujiva, insight stages, and the quiet habit of measuring my sits instead of being there

The figure of Bhante Sujiva and the technical stages of Vipassanā often loom over my practice, turning a moment of awareness into a secret search for achievement. The clock reads 2:03 a.m., and I am wide awake without cause—that specific state where the physical body is exhausted but the mind is busy calculating. The fan’s on low, clicking eve

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